Anthony Frederick Charles Giles

This is so hard for me to write because my grandad was simply the best! losing him is the worst feeling in the world.. nobody will ever compare to him.
My grandad sadly passed away after suffering with Emphysema for bout 4years.. the doctors told him to give up smoking.. but my grandad was stubborn and said no.. he said to me 'kirsty whats the point eh? im dying anyway' for me to hear that was heartbreaking BUT that was my grandad all over.. never listened to anyone, he had asthma too so he was battling not being able to breathe.. he used 2 sit in his chair with his oxygen there next to him. I remember he used 2 have a sneaky fag before my nan got home from work.. he always knew that this disease would kill him so therefore thats why he kept smoking that was his stubborn side showing.
Part of me wishes that he gave up and maybe he would stil be here but nobody was going to get in the way of my grandad. A few years before he died.. it was christmas time.. we almost lost him then but he pulled through that showed he was a fighter, that made me realise how much i loved my grandad, he was always there for me.. offering me advise and we used to sit for hours and talk, but there were times when he used to sleep and i would just sit and watch him.. he would be so out for the count i would check he was still breathing.. purely because i was scared that he was going to go when he was with me.. i look back now and think about the good times we shared and my there were loads of them. When my grandad got taken into hospital i didnt think it would be the end.. i went to see him and he opened his eyes and spoke to me and my sister, that was a good thing because my sister and grandad has fallen out a few months before, for him to say hello to her was the best feeling ever because it meant he didnt hold a grudge against her.. my uncle darren was there to and he brightened the mood a bit making jokes and just brightening up the whole atmosphere.. what hurt the most was my grandad asking my nan if he was going to die, i can still hear him saying it like it was yesterday i had just walked onto the ward where he was and at the time i was just saying hello to my nan when he said that, it was a bit of a shock to the system, that was hard for me 2 hear... a few days later my nan phoned and said that my grandad was eating.. i thought 'great he's going to be ok' but little did i know that was the last time he would eat again.. he was then put on a morphine drip and i knew then that this was his final moments, my mum had said to me before that if he was put on that then he was definitely dying, it hurts to think that he was in so much pain.. i saw him 2days before he died and he woke up and said hello to me and my sister again.. i know now that was his goodbye and i will cherish that moment for the rest of my life.. on the 28th August my sister got that dreaded call that my grandad had gone.. my world was shattered i just cried and cried the nice thing is that he stayed alive for my nans 65th birthday which was the 23rd august.. he was trying his hardest to stay alive for my dads birthday which was 2nd september but he couldnt fight it anymore.
I went to see my grandad in the chapel of rest and i couldnt believe it was final.. he wasnt going home.. i wrote him a letter and put it in his pocket,it just had all my feelings written down and a photo of me so he wouldnt forget me.. i still couldnt believe how cold he was i gave him a kiss because i knew that if i didnt then i would ave regretted it for the rest of my life.. every time i close my eyes i see him in that coffin... it really does hurt. On the day of his funeral i broke down when i saw that he was coming home for his final journey, my auntie put 1 of his favourite flowers in the hearse.. an orange Dhalia, my grandad loved growing them.. i cried so much that day i didnt think so many tears could be produced! my grandad meant the world to me, he had the send off he deserved i remember at the wake it was such a lovely sunny day so hot too for a september day.. all the boys in the family stood in a line for a photo.. it was so nice because my grandad would have loved that, it included my dad, my uncles and various other members of the family, there is some comfort that my nan has kept his ashes although i know they will be scattered.. he never wanted to be buried although sometimes i wish he was so that i could visit a grave my sister remembers him saying 'em i wanna go on a plank of wood and a bin bag over me with 'Another One Bites The Dust' playing, everytime i hear that song now i laugh he didn't like fuss.. i wouldnt want to be selfish by wishing my grandad had a grave, my nan did as my grandad had asked and she respected his wishes.. my grandad had a good life and he had 5 children, my dad, my uncle adrian, my uncle darren, my auntie sandra and my uncle gary.. he now has a great grandaughter Leah who he never got to meet,

He enjoyed 46years with my nan before he died and they loved each other so much, he was always spoiling my nan... as far as my grandad was concerned my nan deserved the best and he always tried to do that.. he had a massive impact on me and really helped me when i needed him.. i am lost without him! everyday i think about him and still cant believe he is gone.

I love you grandad and i promise you i wont break my promise that we made! I'm glad you were proud of me for everything i did! you were the one that believed i could succeed and im getting there slowly but surely xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I love you so much and you will b locked away in my heart forever with the memories... please dont forget me... i will NEVER EVER forget you... no1 will ever replace you no matter how hard they try xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I know that nan thinks about you everyday.. she has lots of photo's of you around her... i also know that she loves you very much, all the family miss you and each one of us have lots of memories of you..
Grandad you will never be forgotten.. may you rest in peace.. i have some comfort knowing now that you aren't in pain and you can enjoy as many fags as you want now :-) i know you're happy wherever you are... just wish you were still here so that i could talk to you again.. here your laugh... i cant wait to see you again one day.... but until that time comes im going to cherish the memories that i have of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx